


don't know how to be so close (to someone so distant)

by Alysae



Series: we built a dynasty (forever couldn't break up) [2]
Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League (2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Guilt, M/M, but Bruce has always to make everything more complicated, technically they're already in their happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 03:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13286373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alysae/pseuds/Alysae
Summary: But it seemed like it was exactly the one thing that Bruce couldn’t do. He could throw himself off a building, he could go sneaking around dangerous men’s houses to get information, he could battle gods and monsters, all the while his heart rate staying the same levelled control─Butfeelings.He couldn’t do that.Or; BruceknowsClark is going to leave him and forces himself to say those three words.





	don't know how to be so close (to someone so distant)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up of the first part, but can be read as a stand-alone work. However, if you _do_ want to know how they started a relationship─better go read first part :)
> 
> Hope you like it!

The moment he feared the most came just after a late night of patrolling his city, Clark tagging along with him and making his best efforts to distract him from his job, as it seemed. And Bruce’s tongue had been sharp when he told Clark to just _shut up._

Clark didn’t utter a word until the end of the night.

Bruce had left him on the roof of a building, jumping and falling swiftly onto the Batwing. Clark knew Bruce hated it when he flew him home, so he just stayed a moment back and let Bruce leave for the lakehouse.

He had thought that he would have found Clark already waiting for him, a smile on his face as always. But not this time─Clark wasn’t waiting for him. And suddenly the events of the past week barreled into him with full force, staggering backward, the back of his knees hitting his couch.

He had trouble breathing, so he took off his cowl─still, the air wouldn’t fill his lungs─

During the past week, Bruce had been awful to Clark─he had pushed him away in multiple ways─telling him to abruptly leave when Clark had only wanted to spend some time with him, and made useless excuses so he could stay alone and─

_God_ , Bruce had been _awful─_

And here was Clark, floating slowly to his open window, the cape billowing behind him as he settled his feet on the ground.

Bruce looked away, pure sickening fear gripping his gut and turning it inside out. His mind supplied restlessly _fool, you knew this would happen, you knew this day would come, it always happen_ ─

And he could still feel Clark’s gaze on him, approaching slowly from where he stood. Bruce had only looked up briefly when he heard him land, but just one look─just one look into Clark’s face and he _knew_.

It was a face that he knew perfectly. Many people in his life had harboured it, and then Bruce had lost them. His mind gave him an endless list of names, but he could not formulate them─could _not_ face them. Especially with the thought that Clark would be joining that list briefly.

But Bruce did not want to─he didn’t want to lose Clark, didn’t want to see him leave. He had thought─he had thought that maybe Clark would─

_Of course_ he wouldn’t, he thought bitterly, his hands trembling by his side. Why would he stay when Bruce didn’t even give him what Clark wanted? Why would he stay when Bruce all but pushed Clark’s feelings away like they were the plague? Clark didn’t want to live like that─he needed to know that Bruce _did_ share his feelings. He needed proof─he needed Bruce to say it out loud, to voice it─

But it seemed like it was exactly the one thing that Bruce couldn’t do. He could throw himself off a building, he could go sneaking around dangerous men’s houses to get information, he could battle gods and monsters, all the while his heart rate staying the same levelled control─

But _feelings_. He couldn’t do that.

_But that was what would make Clark stay with him─_

Clark stopped in front of him, his shiny blue suit illuminated in the moonlight and _god, isn’t this the perfect timing? The perfect atmosphere?_

But when he opened his mouth─when he opened his mouth, his heart jumped into his throat and he couldn’t breathe anymore─

“Bruce?”

Clark’s voice was quiet, regardless of the fact that Bruce didn’t have any neighbours to wake up at the wee hours of the morning. And Bruce, despite himself, leaned in─Clark’s voice was soft and soothing and Bruce just wanted to bathe in it and─

And his mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Absolutely no sound came out.

“Clark─” he _choked,_ of all things.

Strong and uncalloused hands touched Bruce’s shoulders, squeezing lightly before the arms wound around him and Clark was hugging him tightly.

Bruce’s eyes stung, but he didn’t move to hug him back, because─because maybe this was it, maybe Clark─

Maybe Clark was going to whisper _I’m sorry_ , or _Goodbye_ , or maybe he wouldn’t say anything and he would just leave like that, with Bruce feeling his phantom touch and being completely  _vulnerable_ ─

“Clark,” he repeated, his voice straining. “I─I don’t think─”

“It’s okay.” But it _isn’t_.

“I can’t─ _Clark_ ─”

And Clark tightened his grip, holding him as if he was afraid Bruce would dissolve under his touch, and _god,_ that is exactly how Bruce felt─weak, fragile, and _sick_.

This time Bruce hugged him back, just as fiercely, just as desperate─because that is how he felt; desperate to make Clark stay with him. And─and although Clark wasn’t showing any sign of actually leaving him─even if Clark was hugging him like his life depended on it─

That crippling fear in Bruce’s stomach hasn’t disappeared, because─because whatever he did, how many days passed─Clark would still need to know, and Bruce would still need to tell him─

“I need to─”

“Shh,” Clark interrupted (not that Bruce thinks he could have finished his sentence, anyway). He started rubbing circles on Bruce’s back, soothing.

Bruce held him tighter, closer─and Clark was still shushing every one of his attempts to say it out loud.

“It’s okay,” he was saying, his voice still soft. “I know.” And _Clark’s_ voice broke at the last word, emotion squeezing his throat and _Bruce knew that feeling_ ─ “I know.”

Bruce felt wetness on his shoulder, slipping past the kevlar armour and making his suit damp. Clark was _crying_ ─ How was Bruce supposed to stay calm? With mindless words uselessly leaving his mouth just to be shut down by his own body, by Clark’s muffled shushing─

And Bruce’s eyes were still stinging and his throat still constricting.

“I’m here.”

And _god_ he was─Bruce could feel him under his hands, firm muscle and tissue and Clark─ And he could smell his scent as Bruce buried his face against Clark’s shoulder because─he felt completely vulnerable in front of this being (had always felt so), _and now tears were streaming down Bruce’s cheeks_ ─

And it would have been probably funny for an outsider to barge in this moment─Superman and Batman, the latter without his cowl, hugging each other so tightly they might break, crying and gasping words─

But it felt so good─and although Bruce’s throat was still constricted, warmth spread from his heart through his body and enveloped him in Clark’s soothing love.

**Author's Note:**

> I _love_ playing with Bruce's guilt. and his mind. it's very enjoyable. Bruce is completely emotionally constipated, whereas Clark is a hopeless romantic. And, well, Bruce can't even say "I do like you" or "I don't hate you" without stuttering an "I don't... not like..." (still not over that), so an "I love you"? lol
> 
> I also feel like once someone gets too close to Bruce, Bruce has a tendency of trying to make them leave. idk idk. I think most of the time he'd use Brucie to brush people off, but he knows that wouldn't work with Clark, so he just gets extremely snappish and cantankerous.
> 
> Also; this series is completely from Bruce's point of view. What he sees, what he _thinks_ he sees, may not be the truth.


End file.
